How Misunderstanding Mental Health Hurts Kids

Ah, adolescence. A period marked by rapid physical and emotional growth. We all experience it, and most likely, we all hate it.
As teenagers deal with figuring out their identity, academic pressures and more, I think of us as becoming like black holes: sucking in hormone-pumped emotions and spitting out sassy one-liners. For parents, navigating these tumultuous teen years can be daunting, especially when their teenager’s mood swings feel like an accessory to the latest TikTok trend. However, the significant rise in youth mental health challenges is a serious issue, and when parental dismissal becomes a black hole of its own, it can swallow a teen’s mental health whole.
Teen mental health has reached a critical point. According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, rates of depression and anxiety among teens have skyrocketed in recent years. In 2021, 42% of high school students reported feeling persistently sad or hopeless, a 40% increase from a decade ago. Suicide remains the second leading cause of death for adolescents aged 10 to 19. Nevertheless, even with these alarming statistics, many parents underestimate or dismiss their teens’ struggles, often attributing them to typical “teens being teens.”

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Parents can support their teen’s mental health by using open communication, validating their emotions, and educating themselves about mental health challenges. This is important because a strong parent-child relationship can be a protective factor against mental health crises, helping teens feel supported and understood.
When parents dismiss or downplay their children’s emotions there can be profound consequences. Think of it as like seeing a person drowning in the ocean, and instead of throwing them a life preserver, handing them a paddle and saying, “Just row harder.” Messages like this make a teen feel as though their feelings are not valid and isolate them. Subsequently, teens feel ashamed and more reluctant to seek help.
Jyothsna S Bhat Psy.D. from Psychology Today explains this issue: “Parents who are not clued into the pulse of the situation or who do not buy into mental health may tend to minimize what their son or daughter is going through. They may see it as purely physical, such as the need for more rest, sleep, food, or spiritual or physical activity.”
Verbal invalidation and a parent’s inability to understand weaken trust, which is necessary to have a healthy parent-child relationship. Feeling unheard and disbelieved by their parents, young people often turn to friends, online forums, or even strangers for support, rather than their own family. Yes, that’s right: teens are more likely to confide in their Alexa than their parents.

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A survey conducted by YoungMinds asking, “If you needed information or support regarding self-harm, where would you go for help?” highlights this alarming trend with 76% of teen respondents stating they would seek help online, compared to a low 16% confiding in parents.
Parental misunderstanding doesn’t just delay progress, it can actually amplify existing problems. When teens face harsh judgment or inadequate support, they may develop unhealthy coping mechanisms, such as substance abuse, self-harm, or disordered eating. I can think of numerous friends of mine who have turned to self-destructive activities as a direct result of being ridiculed by their parents for mental health problems.
These unhealthy behaviors like the ones described before often arise as desperate attempts to regain control of their lives or numb emotional pain. Without intervention, the mental health of teenagers only worsens.
Addressing this crisis requires a conscious and intentional change from parents. Here are some key steps that parents can take to support their teen’s mental health:
1. Encourage Open Communication
Create an environment where teens feel safe expressing their emotions without fear of judgment. Active listening – where parents focus entirely on what their child is saying rather than formulating a response – can build trust and encourage honest dialogue. Use simple phrases like “I hear you” and “That sounds really hard,” to make even the slightest difference.
2. Validate Their Emotions
Validation doesn’t mean agreeing with everything your teen says. It means acknowledging their feelings as real and important. For example, if a teen says, “I feel like I’m failing at everything,” a validating response could be, “That sounds overwhelming. Let’s figure out how to tackle it together.
3. Educate Yourself About Mental Health
Parents need to confront their own biases and become emotionally literate. Understanding conditions like anxiety, depression, and ADHD can help parents empathize with their teen’s experiences. Resources like the National Alliance on Mental Illness (NAMI) and Mental Health America (MHA) offer accessible tools and guidance.
4. Model Healthy Coping Mechanisms
Teens often mimic their parents’ behavior. Parents should demonstrate healthy ways to manage stress, because if their child sees them exercising, meditating, or seeking therapy, they could adopt those healthy coping mechanisms as well. Sharing personal experiences with mental health struggles, in an age-appropriate way, can also normalize seeking help.
5. Seek Professional Help When Needed
If a teen’s mental health struggles persist or worsen, consulting a mental health professional is the next step. Therapists and counselors can provide teens with coping strategies, while family therapy can address underlying familial tensions and help a family find better ways of communicating.
Being a teenager today isn’t just about figuring out who you are – it is about surviving an increasingly overwhelming world. I am sure that nearly all teenagers understand the pressures that come with this age. Parents dismiss teen mental health problems as “teen drama,” but the numbers tell a different story.
Mental health challenges among teens are skyrocketing, and brushing them off with a casual “you’ll be fine” does not cut it. Teens need parents to show up, listen, and validate what they are going through. At the end of the day, supporting your teen is not about solving all their problems but instead making sure that they know they aren’t facing them alone. That is how you bridge the gap between being a parent and someone they trust.
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